Thiel-a-Vision Review: The Abominable Dr. Phibes

The Abominable Dr. Phibes stars Vincent Price as a waxen-faced organist hell-bent on revenge against the medical team whom he blames for the death of his wife.

Make no mistake, this is one weird-ass picture. It doesn't quite reach the level of pop-art spoofed in the Austin Powers comedies, but the production design is outlandish and Phibes and his beautiful assistant frequently take time between murders for a dance sequence. With its many eccentric deaths and the quasi-romantic relationship between its main characters, it reminded me a great deal of the old Avengers TV show; with good reason, as the director also helmed several episodes of that series.

Phibes subjects his victims to punishments patterned after the Biblical curses visited upon Egypt. The final one is meant to evoke the death of the firstborn, and has the chief surgeon operating on his own son to extract the key to the manacles holding the boy beneath a tube of acid...and all this three decades before the Saw movies.

Phibes is a strange part for Price, as his character was mutilated in a car accident and can only speak (via voice-over) through a tube in his neck that plugs into an old-timey gramophone. That he still manages to retain much of his charm despite being unable to change his facial expression is a testament to Price's talent.

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Ratings Guide

Zero What the hell were they thinking? Even Ed Wood was more entertaining.
1/2 Dear God in Heaven. Probable involvement of Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.
Seriously shit. Based upon a Saturday Night Live skit.
1/2 Mildly crap. Eddie Murphy made another family comedy.
It's not good. It's not bad. It's just there.
1/2 Has its moments. A bonus half star for a particularly cool robot or perky breast.
Solid entertainment. Exploding robots and/or multiple bare breasts.
1/2 As good as most movies can hope to achieve. May include full-frontal nudity.
Like Mary Poppins herself, practically perfect in every way.

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