Thiel-a-Vision Review: Godzilla vs. Megaguirus

1/2

This follow-up to Godzilla 2000 continues a tradition of many of the modern Godzilla films: ignoring the previous entries in the series. The only point on which these films agree is that Godzilla first attacked Japan in 1954. Godzilla vs. Megaguirus takes this retroactive continuity further than usual: the entire film is set within an alternate reality in which Godzilla's continued appearances in Tokyo have resulted in the Japanese capital relocating to Osaka. Furthermore, Godzilla has demonstrated a particular dislike for nuclear power plants, and Japan's growing energy needs are therefore barely served by a combination of wind, solar and other alternative sources.

Japan's response to the continued monstrous threat is yet another iteration of an anti-Godzilla military force, this time known as "G-Grasper." The organization is led by a female pilot who has a grudge against the beast: he killed her former commander.

G-Grasper intends to stop Godzilla once and for all with a superweapon known as Dimension Tide, a satellite-based gun platform which fires miniature black holes (!) capable of absorbing all matter. (The ramifications of launching even tiny black holes at the Earth's surface are completely overlooked.) Unfortunately, their first test of the device tears open the space/time continuum and releases a plague of insects into our world.

The creatures--modeled after similar beasts briefly seen in the classic Toho monster stomp Rodan--quickly multiply and grow. Swarming around Godzilla, they drain his atomic energy to fuel their gigantic queen, setting into motion the inevitable rubber suit battle. 

CGI is effectively used for underwater scenes and bug swarms, which makes it all the more puzzling when the first appearance of the mighty Megaguirus is portrayed by a barely mobile puppet supported by highly visible wires. While wirework is a mainstay of Japanese monster films, it seems to have taken a large step backward here. If the budget could allow numerous digital effects, why not use them to remove the wires from the picture?

While this brief attack on the suspension of disbelief significantly lessens the impact of the final battle, overall Megaguirus is one of the better modern Godzilla films. The characters are fairly involving, the action moves at a good clip, and the horde of insects is an unusual foe for the Big G. 

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Ratings Guide

Zero What the hell were they thinking? Even Ed Wood was more entertaining.
1/2 Dear God in Heaven. Probable involvement of Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.
Seriously shit. Based upon a Saturday Night Live skit.
1/2 Mildly crap. Eddie Murphy made another family comedy.
It's not good. It's not bad. It's just there.
1/2 Has its moments. A bonus half star for a particularly cool robot or perky breast.
Solid entertainment. Exploding robots and/or multiple bare breasts.
1/2 As good as most movies can hope to achieve. May include full-frontal nudity.
Like Mary Poppins herself, practically perfect in every way.

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